Fic : Moratorium

[tetchy-me.livejournal.com]

Hey everyone!!

This is my first time posting in any community, lol, I hope I don’t break any rules . If I do, that would suck because I'll be giving ya'll a very bad first impression. :))
So! I hope I've done everything right to the end. :))

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Title: Moratorium [one-shot]
Characters : Komui [centric.]
Genre: drama/general
Rating: K+
Wordcount: 311
Fanfiction Link : http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5031422/1/Moratorium
Summary: When your feelings just override with no one to push them to. What could make you feel more worthless?

 

Moratorium

Just what he felt was nothing anyone could ever describe.

He could look at you for a day’s worth without a word from his dry, pale lips, yet it was enough for you to beg the gods to haul him up from the endless abyss his eyes held.

It should be said that the feeling just became completely banal, that his heart had become so numb, so numb that even pain and agony couldn’t express the weight of confusion battling inside the course of his chest.

It was better to lie around and die like a dog, he said.

To die, to end, to run away---but he wouldn’t take the shortcut carved on the knives that frequently accompanied his grasp by night (or by day) because he never enjoyed physical torture. Always grinded his eyelids shut, cowering below a broken-down table. Because that was what he truly was---a craven. (It was why he was left alive in the first place.)

But this time he makes an exception. He makes careful cuts everywhere, too many cuts that it couldn’t be labeled as human flesh for its existence, and big ones when he feels it dire.

He just needed to bleed, to let go-to sink in-because he died, trembled and bled too much in the core that it pleaded for a way out.

He was a masochist in way too many---at least that’s what he thinks.

To crumble without anyone noticing, to reach the breaking point with just a twitch of his hand---he wasn’t an empty shell, never had been one from the beginning. He was just lost. Aimless.

Defeated.

Too knocked back down for sheer will and force to raise him back on his feet.

Too shredded-too breached-for his soul to be embraced by life again.

He was bleeding for without a cure.

He was bleeding for self-worth.

-----

In truth, I don't know what the setting of this story is. It could be either when Lenalee just died or when she was taken away.

This is by far the shortest one-shot I’ve every written. I really wish I could write like this more. :)
comments and criticism please?

Comments

[mittens-220.livejournal.com]

This fic is dark, really dark. I like the way you write, conveying Komui's feelings with as little words as needed.

[tetchy-me.livejournal.com]

haha, thanks!
Really? XD aww shucks. ;)
I do hope I could write like this more. Long stories are just not for me, I think. :))
It's because I usually don't finish them. XD

[mittens-220.livejournal.com]

Same here. I tend to write one shots or very short stories. Or else I'll probably lose motivation half way.