ext_204839 ([identity profile] closeincline.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] dgray_man2009-04-09 10:24 pm

Fic time

So, I'm a long time lurker, first time poster. Hi.
But I come with fic!! I thought that this was appropriate given the goings on in the manga lately. I guess I was just having a sort of thoughtful day, and I decided to make something of it. So, I projected on Lavi! I hope it's alright, I am a shy poster...


Title: Where the flip happens
Characters: Lavi, with some thoughts on Allen mostly, and some Kanda and Lenalee
Rating: This is pretty mild stuff.
Length: 588
Sumary: Lavi wonders what will become of Allen, and then the rest of them. And wonders why he is wondering.
Warning: Spoilers for manga chapter 166 and afterwards


Lavi lies awake in bed that night longer than he would have typically, but he feels like this kind of a day justifies sleeplessness.

What would the old man say if he knew Lavi was losing sleep over this?

Probably nothing kind, but needn’t even know. He certainly isn’t losing any sleep; Lavi can hear him snoring lightly from the bunk above his.

But Lavi’s thoughts are on Allen, and his need to know and understand things keeps him conscious and thinking.

Allen is going to turn into a Noah.

Allen is going to turn into a person that Lavi doesn’t know.

His morbid curiosity creeps, and he wonders if it will happen slowing; what was Allen will decay until his memories leave him completely and the rest of them will have to watch day by day as he fades into someone unrecognizable.

Or will it be like flipping a switch; he will fall asleep one night and, like an old dog, he will be dead by morning, leaving them with his shell inhabited by something else, and without a chance to even say goodbye.

Lavi almost frowns at himself for being so melodramtic in the way he invisions it.

He seems so sane now, Allen does, so calm and collected. When Komui spoke to all of them that morning. Allen asked for them to aid in his death when the time comes the way a person might ask for some one to hold the door when they have their hands full.

But Lavi can still see Allen in his mind, wild-eyed and desperate, when Cross first told him. He was so angry; giving up his life was the last thing Allen planned on, and Lavi knew that this wouldn’t be easy for him. It went against all that Allen believed him, to give up and let go.

He always talked about how important it was to keep walking.

And what about the others?

If Lenalee fully understood what this was, she would be devastated. But Lavi thinks that part of her is still expecting Allen to make it all better, the way Allen does, and not let it happen. Allen won’t let her see how bad it is, to protect her.

Yuu will not receive that luxury. Allen will spare him nothing, and Yuu will understand this as well as Lavi does. He might be lying awake right now, thinking the same grim thoughts. Allen will rely on him, and Allen is not afraid that Yuu won’t be able to control the horror. He trusts him to be strong, and to be able to deal with this.

Hell, Allen might even expect Yuu to be the one to kill the 14th when it arrives to that.

Things are beginning to become more serious here. Lavi has known from the start that this is a losing battle, and that it is going to be hard. Hard to watch. He never thought it would be hard to be a part of, because he never expected to feel like he was actually part of it.

But between Allen and Yuu and Lenalee, this place is not like the others he has recored anymore.

The Order isn’t like his other missions in the way that he feels affection for the people around him.

But everything else is the same; he is a bystander, sent to record the deaths of hundreds of people from a completely unbiased standpoint.

The only difference is that those deaths are beginning to matter, and he knows it.

He knows it because three o’clock in the morning finds him lying awake in bed and wondering Why Allen?

 

[identity profile] ocelotspots.livejournal.com 2009-04-10 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
First comment yay!

You know how I feel about Lavi... but I liked this anyway! Great job BB!

[identity profile] aion-walker.livejournal.com 2009-04-10 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
*sobs*...I felt that too...Why Allen...*sobs*

Great fic ^0^

[identity profile] danishdean.livejournal.com 2009-04-10 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
/criessohard

Why Allen? DD8
He's the hero! +main characters never die D< (Right? ;A;)

Lovely fic~♥

[identity profile] danishdean.livejournal.com 2009-04-10 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
I will cryyyyyy ;A;
/isscaredashelltoo D:

[identity profile] danishdean.livejournal.com 2009-04-10 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
/criesevenharder

DDDD8

I will so stalk the artist down and ask him to turn the manga around if Allen is gone.

[identity profile] danishdean.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
ALLEN CANNOT DIE. EVER.
I wouldn't mind if Lenalee would; NOT EVEN LAVI OR KANDA EITHER. OR KOMUI. OR ANYONE ELSE ;3;.

[identity profile] danishdean.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 06:54 am (UTC)(link)
It's such a sad? anime when you think about it.
I mean, REALLY think about it.
All the answers are right there; to make everything better so it doesn't end in fire. I don't believe Allen should give up himself because there is another way out; there always is, right?

[identity profile] mittens-220.livejournal.com 2009-04-10 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
This is great! I always liked Lavi introspect fics

[identity profile] kowaiki.livejournal.com 2009-04-10 07:43 am (UTC)(link)
Perfect. I think you've got into Lavi's mind and told exactly how he would think and feel. Devastated is a good word to use on Lenalee. I agree that she probably doesn't fully understand the situation. Neither Allen or Komui could bear her to get that upset. Kanda...perhaps Allen would want and believe his rival would finish off the 14th if the awaking proofs to be a threat. That's why Kanda was so angry in 182.

Loved the fic ^_^

I'd imagine Bookman would be snoring -loudly- though XD

[identity profile] lilac-ayame.livejournal.com 2009-04-11 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
Aww, this is so beautifully done.

I can feel Lavi's feelings to all the injustice. T_T