Cracktastic drabble.

[kinamona.livejournal.com]

Automatic Drabble Maker.
Oh. My god. It is beyond crack. It's heroin.


I Saw Kanda Kissing Santa Claus

Allen woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one tight box that looked like a whip.
Then Allen noticed that Kanda was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
Allen thought that he would surprise Kanda. Maybe even sneak up behind him and moan him on his hot dick. That always made Kanda sickening.
Allen crept painfully down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its scintillating lights, and the presents, heaped up automatically, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Kanda. Kissing someone.
Allen was so angry, he picked up a pantyhose from a table and threw it huskily down the river.
They both looked around.
"Kanda, you hideous kitten!" Allen yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Allen looked and then rubbed his chest and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Kanda said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a fragile kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Allen said seductively. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be heavenly."
That seemed reasonable. Allen went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a filthy, grey piece of gum that has been on a busy sidewalk for ten years. He made Allen's waist feel all holy.
"You see?" Kanda said tenderly and Allen saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

Comments

[shuupoo.livejournal.com]

I think the two lines that cracked me up the most were "Allen was so angry, he picked up a pantyhose from a table and threw it huskily down the river."

and

"Santa was the best kisser ever, like a filthy, grey piece of gum that has been on a busy sidewalk for ten years. He made Allen's waist feel all holy."

I'm glad I wasn't ingesting any sort of food or drink while reading this, or I probably would've choked. XDDDDDDDD

Next time I get mad at someone, I have to remind myself to chuck pantyhose at them. ROFFLECOPTERS

[kinamona.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed it :3
The pantyhose line has got to be my favorite line tooo, I totally cracked up X)
But I was cracking up during the whole thing anyways.